The Things You Do For Love…

My wife and I are expecting a baby boy VERY soon. I have a desire to be debt free by the time he arrives (he’s scheduled to land on the 19th April…) as I feel that it’s one of the more responsible actions I’m likely to take in my adult life, and seeing as I’m having a bairn, I might as well start pretending I’ve always been a pillar of the community.

So the quick way to solve my quandary is to flog all my beautiful bottles of malt I’ve been stashing away for the last twelve months. It’s a painful process, but it’s either that, or I start looking at selling my musical instruments – and there’s no way that’s ever going to happen. That’s a Charlton Heston moment right there…*

I don’t even get to try some of them. Where’s the justice in that? They’re mainly all Islay malts (my favourites), but there’s a couple of incongruities as you’ll see from the roll-call below, but nevertheless, after having lovingly cared for them for so long I feel I should at least taste them.

What I’m getting at is, if there’s somebody out there, who’d like a guided tour of some of the finest malts available, and is willing to buy the bottles from me, and then pay me to host a private tasting session then contact me through this website.

Anyone?

Well, it’s worth a try…

Be quick though, as I’m sticking them up on your friendly neighbourhood auction site and then it’s down to the highest bidder from there on out.

So, in no particular order (well, alphabetically actually…) the candidates are as follows:

ARDBEG 17

This has become as rare as hen’s teeth, but I stumbled upon a bottle recently in a little-known emporium in Brum, if you Google it, you can see it ranges in price from about £190 – £220.

To you, £150. Can’t say fairer than that, can you?

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ARDBEG SERENDIPITY

There are a few opinions as to what really happened in order for this particular bottle to appear on the shelves. It’s two parts Glen Moray (based in Elgin) and eight parts Ardbeg. The Glen Moray is twelve years old, but there’s dispute as to whether the eighty percent Ardbeg is either from the 17 year old (see above) or the more mature Lord Of The Isles, which is a 25 year old. Serendipity’s not crazily expensive, but more than your average bottle in your local supermarket.

£55? *SOLD!*

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BOWMORE ENIGMA

Same as above. If you’re trying on pairs of expensive sunglasses before you jet off somewhere exotic, and you hang around the drinks concession long enough, chances are you’ll be offered a snifter of something like this.

This is lovely stuff. Too lovely. In fact, I’m still reeling from the bottle my brother grabbed for me last year, when he came down for my stag do.

The preceding night’s events were indeed, an Enigma the following morning.

Thankfully, Dubber has not seen fit to publish any footage.

£40 (for the litre bottle, not the footage. That’s priceless…)

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BOWMORE FEIS ILE 2008

Every year the Feis Ile is held on Islay. It sounds great, and this year we were going to go, but I want to see my baby and support my wife, so we’re not. Instead, we’ll enlist the help of others, and have different whisky adventures later in the year. So keep yer peepers peeled, as no doubt tales will appear here.

I picked up this bottle last year in Bowmore Distillery’s shop. 800 bottles, and this is a relatively young one at 8 years old. It’s cask strength at 57.4% abv, and numbered (226 of 800) and signed by the distillery manager, Eddie MacAffer.

It also comes in a nice bag made from kelpie‘s hide.**

£110

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BRUICHLADDICH ROCKS

Why is this included? A common bottling of Bruichladdich, surely?

Look at the packaging. See it’s lustre, it’s silky coat, and realise, that this is NO LONGER AVAILABLE!

Basically it’s the old-style tin, before they changed it to this.

For ‘Laddich completists everywhere…

£40

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GLENGLASSAUGH FAMILY SILVER

A malt dear to my heart. I used to live in the cottages at Glenglassaugh, when I was about three or four years old. It’s a beautiful part of the world, and I spent many an afternoon on nearby Sandend beach.

This distillery was mothballed between 1986 and the end of last year when it was re-opened. I was lucky enough to have a couple of bottles of this, and I gave one of them to Dubber last year when his parents came to visit from New Zealand.

Well, you would have a dry mouth after a flight halfway ’round the world, wouldn’t you?

It’s a 25 year old, distilled before I was born, and it’s very thin on the ground now.

£120

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LAGAVULIN 21

I can’t believe I’m letting this go. After our amazing experience at Lagavulin last year, I’m amazed that I’m able to put this one up for sale. It’s number 5050 (so if you don’t like music, maybe it’s meant for you…) out of 6642.

I don’t want to talk about it anymore….

Just take it… *sniff*

£200 *SOLD!*

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LAPHROAIG 10 YEAR OLD (PRE-ROYAL WARRANT)

Again, another hidden treasure I found in my Aladdin’s cave of malts in Birmingham.

In 1994, Laphroaig were awarded the Royal Warrant by appointment to HRH Prince Of Wales on 1st January. All bottles since have carried the three-feathered crest, as seen on most Laphroaig packaging.

As this bottle of ten year old Laphroaig, does not have it, it dates it prior to that, although I’m having trouble putting an exact date on it.

I’ve had it valued though, and I’m letting it go for below what it’s worth:

£80

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LAPHROAIG 30 YEAR OLD

This is the daddy.

There’s an empty bottle of this sat atop my kitchen units, as a fond memento of the occasion when a friend, whom I’d not seen in some time, came down to visit me.

So, I opened the bottle, and we shared a very, VERY, nice drop.

I’d been given the bottle for my thirtieth birthday, by my overly-generous parents, and thought I’d hang onto it. But I couldn’t resist.

I later found out how much these bottles were going for.

£300 (Bargain!) *SOLD*

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LAPHROAIG ROYAL WARRANT

As I explained earlier, besides having a penchant for architecture and organic foods, Prince Charles like a dram of Laphroaig.

I’d need a stiff drink too if this had happened to me.

(I did have two bottles, but one is now winging it’s way to Bristol! Just the one left now…)

£220

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OCTOMORE FUTURES 2002

At the time it was the peatiest whisky available at 80.5 ppm (That’s the phenolic content in parts per million), but it was quickly usurped by another Octomore from the Bruichladdich stable, which was, in turn thoroughly trounced by Ardbeg Supernova in the peatiness stakes.

Where will it all end? If things get much peatier, we’ll be donning wellies before we raise a glass…

It’s a limited edition, bottle number 5578 out of 9600, and it’s bottled at 46% abv.

You had to invest in a case of twelve to get your hands on some originally, so here’s a rare chance to buy one bottle on it’s own.

£85

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So, although I’m loathe to let these go (did I mention that?), needs must. Unfortunately, these are non-negotiable prices due to what I’ve paid in the past, and their realistic value. They are not over-inflated prices however, and in fact, if you know your stuff, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to see that they’re under the going rate. Obviously, shipping’s going to be more on top, and I’d recommend insurance also.

If any of you are interested out there, get in touch via the website.

There’s one very special bottle being kept back for toasting my newborn son, which we’ll tell you all about.

Apparently that’s not a good enough reason for me to want him to arrive early, according to my non-whisky-drinking wife.

Sláinte!

* Dubber and Clutch, in no way, agree with, or condone anything this maniac has ever said. Anyway, he was on Earth THE WHOLE TIME!

** It’s actually just some kind of faux-velvet…

I’m selling these bottles as collector’s items, being that they are rare and collectible bottlings, generally not available in normal retail outlets.

For the avoidance of any doubt:

The value of each listed bottle is in the collectible container, not its contents.

The container has not been opened, but any incidental contents are
not intended for consumption.

The container has a value that substantially exceeds the current retail price of the
liquid in the container.

As the seller, I will take steps to ensure that the buyer of the collectible container is of lawful age.